Sunday, June 19, 2016


6 Ways to Spread Yourself Thin

Between work in the TV industry and my aspiration to be a famous living artist (verses a dead one) I've tried several avenues to promote my art. My eyes have popped from my head after Googling information for hours, I've graciously accepted family and my friends' advice, and even hired a kinda PR person to help me deal with social media (until I understood I could take care of most of that myself...ahem). 

Here are some tips that I came up to help sustain and promote my work.

Yes, part of being a self-proclaimed artist is keeping up the good work. That involves having a space to paint and having the paints accessible at all times. More than that, it involves commitment to a project, albeit a series. But excuse me. The phone just rang. I've been asked to work on a TV production that will actually pay my bills. I have to put my art table and paints away because I don't have a studio like a normal artist. Now that that's done, I better do some FB posting on my art page because I won't have any time to do it otherwise.

Well, I have two Facebook pages—one personal and one for my art. I'm more active on my personal page. Why, I just posted another selfie of myself there...a weirdly lit, not quite smily-faced one that gets comments like, "you're weird." But that's my artist statement, although I didn't direct it from my art page. And oh!  I MUST share this gif of the woman wiping her ass with a blinking-eyed Sponge Bob! Again, not my art page, but oh well. A little bit of anti-Trump-pro-Hillary statements and I'm all Facebooked out. I think I'll do my Instagram now.

Damn. Would someone please explain to me the convoluted foreign language of HASHTAGS?! I've posted to Instagram "#art and/or #painting", but my hashtags seem pretty conservative compared to what I've seen up there. I'm beginning to think I'm missing the boat or something. Perhaps I should try something along the lines of this: #conceptualizedwhiletakingamajordumponthetoiletat2am or #justbuymygoddamnartalready. And there's another thing I don't understand on Instagram. Who on earth am I supposed to follow if nobody uses their god-damned names? Like, who is BronzePony? Nail biting. Time to check out my LinkedIn.

WTF is LinkedIn, anyway? I joined it in 2009 and ever since then I've gotten requests from people who want to connect with me. Ironically, I'm ALREADY connected with most of them on FB and probably even on Instagram if I were able to actually figure out who BronzePony was. Does ANYBODY get ANYTHING out of being on LinkedIn? This frustration just killed me. I better forget this and see if I have any artist calls in my email.

Well, can't do that one. I'll never make that deadline. Thirty-Five bucks to submit? Are you kidding me? Oh, here's a topic. Submit any work that falls under the theme, "The Baboon Who Ate his Right Nut Off." Classic. Can't do that one either because I only have an Orangutan that ate his left breast. I have no patience for this right now. I think I'll see what's going on at the galleries.

That means go to art openings, meet gallery owners, and have a life. Well, I'm sorry. I just gave all of that away to a paying job that's about to suck every living hour of my day out of me. I'm terribly familiar with my week's progression. Alert on Monday, counting the rest of the days on Tuesday, engulfed on Wednesday, fading on Thursday, exhausted on Friday, and comatose on Saturday. That leaves one day—Sunday, when there are no gallery openings or gallery owners to meet. 

That about sums up my personal art promotion—one that didn't even include Pinterest. know what I think? I think I better hire that PR person again.